Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
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I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
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It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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