Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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