don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize