This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
this boner is exhausting
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Operation Purity has been aborted
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
