you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
