the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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