I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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