i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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