Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
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Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
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