Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
