I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
