He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize