Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
A+ Viking dick
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
