O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
