Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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