is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
