walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
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What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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