nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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