my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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