Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
