This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
