Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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