Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
