I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My pussy is not your playground.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
