You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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