was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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