I cockslap morals
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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