my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
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She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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