Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
