I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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