i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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