They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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