I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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