How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
