nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
