remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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