This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
