He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
and i looked up. we had an audience...
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Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
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I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize