Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
