dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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