we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize