But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Randomize
