just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize