Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Enjoy the penises
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
