dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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