PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
