You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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