Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
