Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
