I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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