im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
never play flip cup with pint glasses
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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