he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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