At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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