I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
