Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize