We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
