my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
