your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
