I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
