Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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