I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
